Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
