so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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