She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
