I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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