Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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