and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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