someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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