With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
