belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
