Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think your dad took our porno
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Randomize
