There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
