so explain again why im purple
no
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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