now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
