don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
