White coat. Heels.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
being pregnant is like rehab
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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