is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
