Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
