I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
