am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
