this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
