if i died would you start the facebook group?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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