So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
