Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
