Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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