never play flip cup with pint glasses
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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