I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
