If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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