it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
