I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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