Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
