...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
