So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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