my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
