Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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