Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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