Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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