Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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