i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You are the jesus of drinking
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
