turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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