Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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