he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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