Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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