Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
