I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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