I wish they made helmets for livers.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
