Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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