everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
