i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Boobs are out for the taking
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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