I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
