turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
